Stress Free Holidays

Do you typically find yourself stressed around Christmas? Would you like to feel relaxed and enjoy the preparation and celebrations? If you do not think that is possible, then read on.

First of all, I want to address the cause of stress which is negative, fear-based thinking. It is often destructive to our health and relationships. Stress can also prevent us from enjoying the festivities and the spirit of Christmas.

For example, we feel stressed when we worry about giving the perfect gift, or if we have enough money and/or time to purchase presents and/or prepare the holiday meals. Stress occurs when we believe that we should do something or we are not okay. We are also likely to feel guilty about the situation. For example, we may think that if we do not purchase an expensive gift, we are a bad person.

Just avoiding the words I should, and switching to the positive, love-based words such as I prefer, I want to, I wish to, and I will, can bring you great relief from stress. The truth is that whatever you do or don't do you are okay and a good person.

You may be thinking, what about other people's reactions? They will feel angry, hurt, rejected, or neglected. It is my belief that if you share your truth in a loving way, people will feel fine. For example, "I wanted to give you a gift (or visit you) but my funds are low. Thank you for understanding."

The following are different ways and examples that can help you enjoy a stress free holiday.

A) Give low-cost or no-cost gifts by:

1) Sending a free internet e-card.

2) Mailing a card with a loving message.

3) Giving gifts you make. Examples include: a cake, pie, jewelry, painting, potholders, or candles.

4) Agreeing with family and/or friends that everyone purchase and gift wrap one present with a specific cost limit. It can be as low as $5 to $10.Then place them all in the middle of the room and each guest picks a number written on a folded piece of paper. People then choose a present in the order of their numbers. They open and display their present to everyone. After all the guests have their turn, they can choose to trade their gifts.

5) Doing the same as above except instead of purchasing a gift, everyone is asked to bring something they have in their home (commonly called a white elephant) to offer as a present.

6) Offering a personal service. This is only limited by your imagination. Examples include: a massage, a pedicure, cook a meal, clean the garage or cabinets, help them organize their closets or office, paint a room, wash their car, watch their children, or walk their dog.

B) Have inexpensive Christmas Dinners by:

1) Inviting everyone to bring a dish and/or drink to share (a potluck).

2) Asking people to donate money for the food and share in the cooking and cleaning-up.

C) Enjoy time with your family by:

1) Letting go of all expectations of anyone being different.

2) Realizing that what people do or say is about them and not you.

3) Knowing that you are okay no matter what anyone says or does.

4) Taking care of your own needs and wants.

5) Accepting people the way they are.

D) Plan ahead by:

1) Purchasing gifts on sale all year long.

2) Starting to make your lists early in November.

3) Finishing your shopping early in December.

Finally, we can avoid stress or let it go when we remember the true essence of Christmas. It is about expressing our caring and love. The Christmas Season reminds us what is important to do all year long. It is always a gift to others and ourselves when we express consideration, appreciation, and gratitude. A smile, a random act of kindness, acknowledgement, and being present are wonderful gifts to give and receive. Christmas is about feeling peaceful and loving, and that is also our major contribution to world peace.

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Copyright 2007 by Helene Rothschild, MS, MA, MFT, Marriage, Family Therapist. Her newest book is, "ALL YOU NEED IS HART! Create Love, Joy and Abundance~NOW." For her free newsletter, MP3 audio, and ebook, go to: http://www.helenerothschild.com . Note the fantastic limited time special offer: http://www.helenerothschild.com/specialoffer.html